iamonlydorb: sucysucyfivedolla: the inside of your butt is warm enough to hardboil an egg oh no I’m not falling for this one again LOOOOOL
the-thought-emporium-imperial: protomlad: s brilliantjust-laff: egberts: if i ever met a genie i wouldnt wish for a million dollars id wish that whenever i bought something i’d always have the right amount of money to pay for it in my pocket you are one of the great thinkers of our time Shit that’s genius “Sir, do you… Always walk around with $250,000?” “YOU GONNA SELL ME THE CAR...
brvdleysoileau: how is “slut” even an insult wtf get that dick grl
bepeu: what i learned in high school you can pass some classes by being friends with the teacher there is more than one kind of cool if you write just random things on some homework then you may still get some point but the teacher will pull you aside because she is worried about you not all food is edible who cares
harryfuckmestyless: I want this version for...
gothlolita: im Sorry but you two cant get the marriage. the bible said Adam and Eve not matthew and ashley. come back when youve legally changed your names
sammynotvaldez: the-vashta-nerada: today my sister asked me for a glass of cold water and i sarcastically asked her “how cold” and she said “as frigid as your love life” I JUST FUCKING CHOKED
fullmetal-dipshit: the-nicest-asshole: UK grading system 75-100 A+ 70-74 A 64-69 A- 60-63 B+ 55-59 B 50-54 B- 46-49 C+ 43-45 C 38-42 C- 35-37 D 0-34 Time to move to the UK Dude I would kill for that grading scale Seriously…
o-sheaian: dylan o’brien more like dylan o’breAKING MY HEART
Blueberries piss me the fuck off
all1sees: They’re BLUE. but mashed, they’re PURPLE?? AND WHEN SKINNED, WE SEE THE INSIDES ARE GREEN????? WHAT THE EVERLIVING FUCK, BLUEBERRIES?!